Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Idiot of The Week: Predator Press

The Idiot Award of the Week goes to some guy named LOBO's blog Predator Press and his post questioning whether Barack Obama is black. Some people just can not look past skin color or anything like that.

This quote summed up LOBO's underlying thinking:
"It took me a second, you know? Like there's something you can't quite put your finger on?"
How much longer must America be kept down by racism and discrimination? I was waiting for Predator Press to suppose Obama is Rick Dees at some point.

Good thing this country is finally run by liberals so we don't have to deal with this crap anymore.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

My New Ferret Faces Discrimination for the First Time

Last week I celebrated the Obama victory by buying a ferret. I named him Lexington Cabot III but he might be a she or something else. I think it is a he but I don't know what a ferret penis looks like so my new pet BFF might be a transgendered animal.

No matter, I will love my new transgender pet as if he or she were male or female. The problem is not EVERYONE ELSE treats Lex the same.

I brought Lex with me to Starbucks for my daily adventures in blogging only to have the manager told me he was not "welcome".

Now at this time the five meds I take so I don't flip out and kill short-sighted, bigoted neo-cons had yet to kick in and my blood pressure was boiling.

"What do you mean he is not (fingers making the quotation marks in the air) "welcome" I asked him to which he replied: "Because animals in the store are a violation of the Board of Health regulations."

Please! Lex isn't allowed in the store because of his being a transgender pet, not because of some rules written by right-wing politicians. I made sure to bring this to his attention and let him know in no uncertain terms how in a country where we just elected an African-American as President we are still racist if a transgender ferret can not be allowed to sit at the lunch counter of a Starbucks.

It is pet suffrage plain and simple.

My outrage turned to a shouting match and then Lex bit the manager. He deserved it!

Now I am banned from the Starbucks. Fine! They will miss out on my consumption of their tap water every day while I blogged.

In a way I am glad this happened. All the employees used to give me dirty looks every time I ordered the free water. I think they were all republicans jealous of us liberals in power now.

So here I am back at the smelly McDonald's with the free wifi. At least Lex is by my side. :)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Idiot of The Week: Ryan Garns

This week's Super Liberal Idiot of the Week Award goes to Ryan Garns and his very unfunny bashing of Barack Obama. This idiot blogger had the audacity to make fun of slavery in a parody post of Obama's sure-to-be-awesome Inauguration speech .

This line really got me:
"The music swells and at its crescendo, Barack Obama rips through the American flag to thunderous applause."
LOL! If McCain won this is what he would be doing, following in the footsteps of Bush and continuing the status quo of the trampling of our laws. Unlike the Republicans Obama respects the Constitution and understands it is a list of what government can't do, not how much it can do for us.

I believe a man everyone considers to be one of the greatest Presidents ever said something along those same lines. Yeah, I mean JFK and he was a Democrat.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Ryan Garns.

Our Democratic Government Gets Stronger

Ted Stevens lost his re-election bid giving our team 58 votes. Fellow liberals we are now two votes away from being able to pass ANY LEGISLATION we want!

Then we kept Leiberman in the fold. I think that gives us a 59th vote. Woot!

It is like an early Hanukkah. The Democratic Party keeps getting gifts every day for like a whole week!

I know there is a bit of a dispute over whether Hillary actually accepted the Secretary of State position but we all know the vetting process is a formality.

Oh geez I didn't realize the time. Starbucks is about to close. I hope that the bike ride home will work off the excitement I have wondering what gift us liberals will have waiting under our menorah in the morning.

Al Gore for Secretary of Energy?

Yeah, I'm not sleeping tonight.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Hillary Clinton Named Secretary of State

Hillary Clinton has accepted the position of Secretary of State, according to the Guardian. Love that paper by the way. They really have a progressive viewpoint on where America needs to change. We should listen to them.

So now we have Obama as President, Joe Biden as VP, and Hillary as Sec of State. I think there needs to be a place for Al Gore to combat Global Warming.

The naysayers still try and hold us back from the obvious: humans are killing this planet with their use of fossil fuels. October 2008 was the hottest year on record because the GISS said so. No right-wing blogger is going to try and change the truth with twisted facts and figures.

Make Gore the Secretary of Energy so we can get rid of the stupid coal plants and dino-fuel autos so animals and trees won't die anymore and my future children won't have to live underground.

The best part is this makes it so Hillary wins in 2016. Twelve years of Democrat rule. Won't that be awesome!? Life is going to be so much better for people like me, the downtrodden. We will no longer feel guilty for killing the planet.

Go Obama! Go Hillary! Bring Back Gore!

This is truly a magical time. Wow the U2 song "Beautiful Day" is now playing at the new Starbucks I am blogging from. See? The universe is already correcting itself from the last eight years of this...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I'm guest posting on Radioactive Liberty

After I won over the conservative fans as a guest commentator of Radioactive Liberty on their Election Day coverage I got asked by one of the wing-nut writers, Chris Cameron to do a post with him.

The topic was whether Obama will fix everything and of course I was all like hells yes! Being the hardcore neocon that he is, Chris tried to paint me into a corner claiming I was living in the past.

I thought the past was where Republican victories were?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Super Liberal's Idiot of the Week Award

This one goes out to the conservative blog You Should Be Tasered. Not only are tasers a horrific way to hurt people that could be innocent (until proven guilty right? right? right?) and a form of human rights violations but the blog is as well. The topper is that he has a blog post about racist terms.

Typical redneck Republican. We elect a black man for President which allows all of us to shed our guilt and heal and You Should Be Tasered wants to go back to hosing down African-Americans because they ate at some counter in a diner in the 70's.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Obama Win Has Purged My Guilt

I am very glad that an African-American is President because shamefully I carried white guilt.

Did you know half of Americans have ancestors that owned slaves? HALF of us are indirectly responsible, and I know I was one of them because of how guilty I felt all these 23 years of my life.

I tried to be fair and treat everyone equal no matter who they were but I couldn't help feeling like I haven't done enough because of the travesties of my great-great-grandfathers and mothers. How could I ever make up for their idiocy, especially since I was not around to help fight slavery?

Now I can hold my head up high, knowing that my vote for Barack Obama helped deal with that issue while also touching a feeling of how proud I finally am of America.

Even the world likes us now. My french neighbor told me that the election showed America learned it's lesson from the Bush oppression. We don't have to hide anymore or pretend we aren't Americans when we are overseas.

We also don't have to feel guilty anymore.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Thanks To Obama I Dont Have To Work Anymore

Like many of you I am very excited that Barack Obama is our President because it means so much to the people like myself being kept down by the man, ie: the right wing of our government.

To release myself from my bondage, I have gotten fired from my part-time job at the Dollar Store-a-Rama today. I could have quit but then I won't collect unemployment. Obama will surely extend the unemployment benefits so in the long run I will get out a lot more then I put in and the best part is no work.

Then once all the rich people get taxed and it trickles down to people like me I will be able to lead a productive life and have a house, money, and health care without having to be a sheep in the evil capitalist system in order to scrape a meager existence from the billions of dollars all those companies take in.

The American Dream has finally arrived everyone. If you don't embrace it you will be left behind while the rest of us succeed.

I also celebrated by trading some of my food stamps for the money to buy a ferret.

I will name him Lexington Windsor Cabot the Third.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Congratulations Barack Obama

America is back everyone

Tuesday November 4th, 2008 is a date that will live in famy. Now that Obama is President America will be a great country again. No longer will the rich get richer at my expense. People will have free health care and a chance to own their own home thanks to the best government the world will ever see- a Barack Obama and Democratic-led United States of America.

And we'll finally fix Global Warming.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I'm a guest Election Coverage Commentator Tonight at Radioactive Liberty

The Right-Wingers over at humor blog Radioactive Liberty have finally gotten smart and asked me to be their, as they put it 'moonbat' commentator for their Live 2008 Election coverage this evening.

I am not a moonbat. Just because someone is a very liberal person doesn't make them a moonbat. I only take a few meds and I am a rational and sane person held back from success by the right side of our government.

Now that Obama will win we can continue the legacy of the great Jimmy Carter.


Barack Obama Will Win

It will be a glorious victory for America.

I just got back from voting and there were no McCain sign holders to kick in the shins. The best thing about being on meds is I can physically abuse people and have an excuse. I'm kidding of course. I spit on them.

So now that Obama has won and it is over, I look forward to prosperity for all Americans who have been kept down by the Bush administration. Soon we will all have a chance to have a house, health care, and other great stuff provided for us.

Finally we will be a prosperous nation. Gosh I feel so overcome with emotion, think I have to sign off and let out a big cry.

God Bless America.

Super Liberal is Back After a Harrowing Ordeal

Thanks to George Bush the Starbucks I used to blog from closed down a couple of months ago. As you well know the Democrats do not hold enough of an advantage yet to be able to pass a law giving all citizens the right to free internet access everywhere.

Not until Tuesday November 4th, 2008, a date that will live in famy.

That is still 24 hours away from happening so until then I am forced to blog from a McDonald's that has wi-fi and is within biking distance from my basement headquarters. These people here are much smellier and uncouth then the ones in Starbucks but at least it is good to see so many undocumented workers with jobs.

This disturbs me because perhaps the coffee company discriminates against hiring undocumented workers which would be wicked uncool.