Thursday, November 20, 2008

My New Ferret Faces Discrimination for the First Time

Last week I celebrated the Obama victory by buying a ferret. I named him Lexington Cabot III but he might be a she or something else. I think it is a he but I don't know what a ferret penis looks like so my new pet BFF might be a transgendered animal.

No matter, I will love my new transgender pet as if he or she were male or female. The problem is not EVERYONE ELSE treats Lex the same.

I brought Lex with me to Starbucks for my daily adventures in blogging only to have the manager told me he was not "welcome".

Now at this time the five meds I take so I don't flip out and kill short-sighted, bigoted neo-cons had yet to kick in and my blood pressure was boiling.

"What do you mean he is not (fingers making the quotation marks in the air) "welcome" I asked him to which he replied: "Because animals in the store are a violation of the Board of Health regulations."

Please! Lex isn't allowed in the store because of his being a transgender pet, not because of some rules written by right-wing politicians. I made sure to bring this to his attention and let him know in no uncertain terms how in a country where we just elected an African-American as President we are still racist if a transgender ferret can not be allowed to sit at the lunch counter of a Starbucks.

It is pet suffrage plain and simple.

My outrage turned to a shouting match and then Lex bit the manager. He deserved it!

Now I am banned from the Starbucks. Fine! They will miss out on my consumption of their tap water every day while I blogged.

In a way I am glad this happened. All the employees used to give me dirty looks every time I ordered the free water. I think they were all republicans jealous of us liberals in power now.

So here I am back at the smelly McDonald's with the free wifi. At least Lex is by my side. :)


Chris C said...

As a waiter I have to say their dirty looks were probably due to the fact you made them work for your free water without any compensation.


Les James said...

The thing that I find most disturbing is that you were looking for his penis in the first place. I don't even want to think about what you were planning next, a cardboard tube?

You're seriously ill. As is fitting for someone like you, there is FREE mental health care available. USE IT!

The Offended Blogger said...

Um, not to be picky but you should capitalize R in Republican. You know, out of respect. Keep the little l in liberal though. :)

The Offended Blogger said...

To clarify, that little l represents so many little things about your people. I won't go into detail for fear of offending you since you are obviously of the penile persuasion.

(that is the PC term for man btw)


Super Liberal said...

Capitalizing that word would be like doing the same to that god guy everyone talks about so much.

Science like global warming is real unlike some dude you necons ask stuff for eveyr Sunday and before you got to bed in your McMansion.

Hello...just ask the government they will provide and they are real. Obama and the rest of the fine folks on the left are our gods.

Joel Klebanoff said...

"the five meds I take so I don't flip out and kill short-sighted, bigoted neo-cons"

Now that I know you frequent Starbucks, I just wanted to point out that, while I am short-sighted, I'm definitely not a neo-con and no more bigoted than your average man on the street (not that that's a high bar to jump over). Now, if I could just find a way to get off the street.